Posted on Jun 18, 2021

McKenzie Mortuary Services

Kids and funerals

After my father’s suicide, my mother planned the entire process. The four of us kids were never asked anything regarding the funeral plans. At 12 years old, I wanted to go with my mom to the funeral home, but I was told it was better I stayed at the house with my grandparents. While my mom was at the funeral home, the carpet cleaners arrived to clean up the large pool of blood on the green carpet. How the hell this was allowed to happen while us kids just sat there and watched makes me still so angry.

We were not even allowed to pick music or simply be heard of our wishes at all. Instead of music that told a story and that related to my father’s life, the funeral home played taped old religious songs that just were not appropriate. I could imagine my father and his quick wit sense of humor making a joke in heaven about it.

If a death occurs within your family, obviously death scenes should be shielded from everyone, that is a no-brainer, but ask the children what they would like to do. Many write notes or draw pictures to place in the casket. ASK the child if they WANT to see the deceased. Many children have wonderful ideas to contribute to closure.

As I wrote this and share it with you today... I think those moments when we were NOT included as chairmen is when the seed was planted for me in choosing the funeral
industry. Odd how you’re walking a path and suddenly diverted forever onto another
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